srsly.

I’m celebrating in a possibly blasphemous, completely contrived way. I’d like to say I’m enjoying it, but I’m super stressed from waiting to hear about this job. I think the interview went well enough, but … it might just come down to me not having any experience in this area. I hope not because I totally want this job and I know I can rock it.

At the same time, my current job is stressing me out as well. There are a lot of new people, a lot of under-staffing and it’s hard. Plus my coworkers are irritating me, which probably says more about me than them.

I’m having the stressed out dreams. Something about a brand new rotting bicycle and a shop reminiscent of Yemen. Something else about work. Something else about church. It’s probably good I don’t remember them any better than I do.

I’m also thinking about headcovering off and on. It seems to be just something I do now, which is fine by me, but I think when I move, I will stop the full time covering, and I will probably miss it. I’ve gone through phases with the headcovering. The most recent of which was a Jewish style, around the head and around the bun in the back of my head. It’s becoming uncomfortable though. I find myself wanting to wear full hijab or nothing. Not really sure why. I end up wearing hijab at my house and something else outside of it. Because I don’t want the Islamic associations.  I’ve done hijab before and then moved on. Like I said, phases. Guess I’ll just take it as it comes.

Anyway, prayers for obtaining this job, housing, transportation, and workable class schedule, plus not freaking out & what not are appreciated.

I have a job interview Monday! I’m very excited about this as it will put me

a) physically closer to where I need to be for classes
b) in a hospital/acute setting
c) working with the population I hope to work with post nursing degree.

A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician were sitting in a street café watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes later they reappeared together with a third person. “They have multiplied,” said the biologist. “Oh no, an error in measurement,” the physicist sighed. “If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again,” the mathematician concluded.

even better, my favorite math joke:

A farmer asks an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician to fence in the most land to keep his sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it’s a pretty good working solution. “No no,” says the physicist, “there’s a better way.” He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.

The mathematician shakes his head and speaks up: “No, no, there’s an even better way.” To the others’ amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny fence around himself, then declares:

“I define myself to be on the outside.”

*real content might be forthcoming, but then again, it might not.

Happy Liturgical New Year! (now, to decide on my advent devotion)

Stats for the day:

2 covered women at the serbian orthodox festival (not counting me)
14 hijabis at the mall
1 suspected pentecostal at the mall.

I haven’t said much lately, which is because there hasn’t been much to say. Now, though…

I have an interview tomorrow afternoon for a nursing school. I have a nice outfit that meets my own (possibly random) standards of modesty. (to the knee, covering the shoulder) and am now debating on the head cover.

As in: yes or no. Right now both options seem perfectly reasonable and both options seem absolutely ridiculous. Why would I go so far as possibly jeopardizing my acceptance into this school for a head covering that I don’t think is absolutely necessary?

At the same time, a friend told me, “I don’t think you should yet.” I’m left wondering, if not yet, if not now, then when? and the only answer I can come up with is “never.”

And then I think, maybe “never” is acceptable for work. I can still cover for church and personal prayers. I could still cover outside of those times when not at work. Maybe I really shouldn’t cover for work. Yet, I know me. I know that if I stop at covering at work, I will probably stop covering outside of work. I might still cover for church, at first. But I know that it would be so easy for me to just stop altogether.

And then I think, well, that wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. I mean, I felt drawn to this head covering thing, but it’s not impossible that it could be a seasonal thing for me, and not a forever thing. I don’t feel drawn to head covering as I did before, when I started. I also don’t feel “drawn away” from it either. It is a devotion for me. A dedication. A reminder that I am somehow set apart.

Not covering would be easier in the sight of normal people, but… but.. damn it. I’m not normal.  In other words, I still haven’t decided. I might not decide until I get there and am getting dressed for the interview. Stay tuned…

479,001,600

I obviously haven’t been anywhere in a while because I forgot my toothbrush on this overnight adventure.

Okay. So, I’m looking for a situation change: namely job & location. I have some leads on all accounts. I am so hopeful about this. I would really like it to work out. So all prayers are welcome, as nothing is sure yet.

I had to put my dog down today. He wasn’t old, and it was completely unexpected. I’m a little lost right now. At least, as Elle has told me, St. Francis can take care of him now. He’s in better hands than I ever could be.