*sigh* coworkers.

So, I mentioned to a coworker that I got in to nursing school, in a fairly large city. She said something along the lines of “I wouldn’t want to move there, it’s so much more expensive.” And then spent some time describing how dangerous the city is.

I paused and for a few minutes kinda let this get to me. And then I thought to myself, “Fuck them! I lived in Yemen!” Really, I’m going to let a few people saying how dangerous an American city is affect my life? Because if I did that, I wouldn’t have gone to Morocco or Yemen. I wouldn’t be planning on returning to the Middle East or have the Russia dream I have now. I want to work in the Rural Middle East. Heck, if I listened to some people around here, I probably wouldn’t have started covering because it might be dangerous.

sunday musing

So, Sunday morning I woke up and decided to make some bacon. Didn’t think much of it at the time, but as I was eating, I thought

Hey, the sun is up.
It’s Ramadan.
And I’m eating bacon.
Oh well, fuck it.
You can’t fast on a feast day!

And I wonder if this may ever be an actual conundrum to someone like the Episcopal dual-faith priest in Oregon, or where ever she is. I also wonder if she wears hijab while officiating at mass. You know, before she got kicked.

first tube change on the bike.

So, last week sometime the bike got a flat tire.

I decided this would be my very own adventure, seeing as I’ve never changed a bike tube before. I went to Walmart and bought a couple inner tubes & a changing kit, which consisted of a cheap wrench and two of those things to take the tire off the wheel.

I go home and i’m trying to use the cheap wrench to take the nuts off, that are holding the wheel onto the frame. It’s just not working. I go looking for a bigger wrench and there’s none at the house. Of course now it’s dark and I don’t want to go to the barn. So I wait a while.

Until this morning. (um, I’m using the term “morning” loosely here, I mean early afternoon) I go to check the mail and figure while I’m out there, I’ll go over to the barn. I hike out but once there, I realize it’s locked. Which I’m sure is a good thing, and then I realize that I might end up with seriously frustrated brothers if I just take the wrench from out there to the house for the bike.

So, I go to Journagans to buy one. Damn, those things are expensive! Anyway, I buy my wrench and finally get home to work on it. I successfully get the wheel off. Once I had a non-shitty wrench, the nuts were no problem at all. I take the inner tube, wheel & tire to the garage and halfheartedly attempt to find where the old tube was leaking. No such luck. I start filling the new tube. I get it into the tire and on the wheel and inflate to the correct pressure.

I get it back on the bike, but as I’m doing so, I’m wondering if that’s a bulge “teh interwebs” warned me about. *shrug* I dunno. So, now it’s time for the test ride. I get out and down the street. I decide to do the half mile out/half mile back route and as I’m turning into the driveway I notice a sound like something’s rubbing against the tire.

Yeah, so that must be one of those “bulges” I take the bike inside and try to take the wheel off. Why the hell won’t this tire come off? It. Just. Won’t. Come. KA-BLAOW!. off…

And even after the tube burst, the damn wheel won’t come off. I finally finangle the wheel from the chain. I think I’ll work on re-replacing the tube tomorrow…

Victory is so close

Okay, so I previously mentioned the Soap/Shampoo/Conditioner saga. In a sentence summary: I vowed not to buy more of any of any one category until all in my house was used up. That vow was made mid-December 2007. In April 2009, a mere 16 months later, I declared victory over the shampoo. I finished the last of it, and bought new. Today, August 8, 2009 I declare victory over the conditioner. (That horse conditioner doesn’t count, and may be going into the trash soon)  Tomorrow, to try out the new conditioner I bought. The only one left is soap. I have at least another bar and a bottle left. Tremble soap, you’re going down!

cars suck, yo.

So, I have a car, its name is PANTS! (dumb story, which is the only endearing thing about the car) PANTS! has given me lots and lots of shit during the time that I’ve owned it, but in the past 18 months since I’ve been back in the states, it’s been real hell.  Towed thrice (in six months), to the mechanic (who happens to be my uncle, so glad I trust him!) five times. Most recently two simplish repairs. I got it back the week after the 4th, took it to Springfield and enrolled in my classes for the fall semster and got Zeke & I signed up for dog training at PetSmart in the next week. It worked like a charm. Then Sunday, I wanted to take it to church. I got about three miles from home when I realized that I wouldn’t be able to make it because the shifting & accellerating were just wrong.

Shit. I just got it back, and now another problem. So I decided, Fuck it. I am not fixing this car. I refuse.

So, I have my mother’s Geo, I call it the Little Blue Death Bucket (or LBDB for short). Between it & PANTS! I’ve maintained vehicular transportation. But the LBDB is getting old. And I’ve been warned that its lifespan is coming to an end, sometime, and that long distances & highway driving will bring that end faster.

My uncle, the mechanic, has been telling me for a while that I need to get a new car. (new, new to me, whatever — something more reliable) but I can think of a million things I’d rather buy than a car.

So, I’m prepping for a carless time. I’ve borrowed a friend’s bike that I’ve ridden a couple of times. I’m planning out routes to get me to work, away from cars. I’m thinking of people in my church that I can get rides from if that day comes.

I’m planning on riding to work, at least a few times a week to get used to it and to attempt to preserve car life.

I know I’m crazy. I know I should probably just buy a car. But I just don’t want to. It’s not about the environment. It is, in part, due to money. Car, registration, oil changes, gas, insurance, and other things I’m forgetting. It’s also the dependancy on other people, mainly mechanics. I want to be able to fix whatever might be wrong. I want my machinery to be simple enough for me to at least be able to see what is wrong. I want to depend on myself for my own movement.

At least in theory. I might change my mind when it’s no longer theoretical. Which hopefully will remain in the future.

spam.

no, really. why have i gotten dozens of porn-spam on my post prayers (and no other posts)? this is really bothering me.

it’s not about modesty, it’s about sunscreen.

So, a week ago I started walking my dog twice a day, once in the late morning to noonish time and once after I got off work, around 11:30 at night.

Yeah, I started from nothing and BAM, at least 4 miles a day. So far, it’s been an interesting experience. Thankfully, I have a fairly active job so I’m used to being on my feet, and I stay on my feet all day. (I have found that once I sit down it’s a bit hard to get back up)

The daytime walk/jog is the kicker for me. I like to run a little bit of it, a mile or so for now, but it’s also the hottest time of the day. I suppose theoretically I could get up earlier in the morning when it is cooler, but I know me and that’s never going to happen. So, I’m left with dealing with the heat.

I’m not quite sure what I’m doing with it right now. The first couple of days I went in pants, a long sleeved shirt and a bandana. Then I did a couple days in shorts and a tank top (one day with a bandana, once without) and then I went back to the first style.

I think, for now, I might prefer the pants/sleeves combo. But don’t take this the wrong way, it’s not really about the modesty. It’s about the sunscreen. I hate that shit. I had  some that was years and years and years old. So I threw it away and thought to myself, I’ll buy some of that new spray on kind. It sounds pretty good. And so I did. Let me tell you, in theory that stuff should rock socks. But I hate it.

It says that it is non-greasy, but when I wear it, I feel like I’m smearing baby oil on my body. It says “no rub” but when I spray, it either is really uneven or it gets all over my bathroom. And then my floor is greasy and slick and icky. And then, if you want to put it on your face, you have to spray it in your hand and then rub in on your face. So, it fails on both the “no rub” and the “non-greasy” claims. NOT A FAN.

Though I do have to say that it was sweat- proof, and didn’t drip in my eyes. However, once that stuff is on your hands it’s staying there, so even as I brushed the sweat off of me, it went from my hand to my eye. Which, okay. might sound gross, (because it is a little) but it’s also true.

Let me also say that since it is sweatproof, it’s just a little bit bathing proof as well. And then it’s all in your tub/shower making it a hazard because, as I’ve said before, the ‘nongreasy’ line is a LIE. And it never comes off me or the tub when it’s all over your body, like you need to wear it when you’re wearing shorts & a tank top. Maybe if I had a shower I could live with it, but in my current situation, I don’t really want to.

Which leads me to wearing more clothes to replace the sunscreen. It’s been cooler the past couple days and so the clothes aren’t as bad as I thought they would be. I also bought a new face sunscreen to try tomorrow that’s the more traditional cream/non-spray type.

As a side note: at night I wear pants with a short sleeved shirt because a) no one is going to see me b) i don’t have to wear sunscreen to protect me from the moon c) it’s cooler, even though the bugs can get me.

I’m not saying this is a definitive “I will never wear shorts again!” because I’ve been doing this for a week. But after a week, this is where I stand.

nativity of st. john the baptist.

Last semester, towards the end of the semester, one of my psychology classmates and I were talking before class. He asked me, “From all your travels, what truth have you learned?” And I was floored. I don’t think of what truth I have learned. I think about those trips in finding, learning and experiencing beauty, not truth. And definitely not Truth, as I understood he meant it.

I’m not sure if that’s just the way my mind/body/soul work or what, but the thought of “Truth” in my travels never ever occured to me.

So, I was dumfounded last Wednesday, as I sat in church for the feast of the Nativity of St. John the Baptist and saw, once again, how amazingly beautiful our church is and my thoughts were on Truth. Yes, our church is beautiful, but what truth is there in here? What truth is there in our liturgy? What truth is there in our tradition? What truth is there in our Bible?

I just don’t know.

I am very frustrated, with a lot of things. Don’t get me wrong, I still intend to continue worshipping in my church. I think there is great truth there, along with its great beauty. It’s just that I can’t see it right now.

currently thinking:

*the ‘bun’ might just be the unsexiest hairdoo ever.

*PANTS!’s death is impending.
*shit shit, what will i do?
*take a chill pill, obviously. it’s only a car.

*no one’s better than ezra.

*barak is an OT name, huh.
*thanks random judges passage.

*gonna kill the dog.
*get out of the trash, zeke.
*put the g-d lid on, dana.
*no.
*well, then. stop bitching about it.
*touche, but no.
*awww, he’s cute.

*”his wings are a refuge for all who run to him…”

*need to do the dishes.

*nursing school apps need to be sent in already!
*nursing school is too far away.
*no, it’s coming too quickly

*need to get the hell outta here
*must. stay. here.
*but why?
*duty, of course.

*i want to pray with these nuns.

*”the hope no violence could tame…”

*seriously, least. sexy. ever.
*it’s kinda making my head itch
*and kinda hurt.
*now, for an “im a crazy protestant” scarf
*i really only need the jeans skirt
* proud that i don’t actually own a jeans skirt.
*way too proud, actually.

the end.

ECW

ECW is “Episcopal Church Women” and it is simply that. Women in the Episcopal Church. Every Episcopal Church (that I know of) has this organization. Some might be more active than others. But, when speaking of our diocesan convention, I believe there was something my ECW failed to tell me before coming. ECW (the ladies, not the organization) have a specific dress code that I was not informed of. A dress code that I cannot endorse and want very little part of. The ECW dress code is SPORT COAT. Yes, that’s right. WAY over half of the ladies on Friday morning/afternoon sported the “Lady Blazer” look. It was uncanny. Female priests and lay women alike were snuggled up in their sport coats (and honestly, the building temperature warranted them) I was overwhelmed. I believe confirmation must include a secret confirming of a sport coat.

Our priest told us that in ancient times, in the beginning of the church new initiates were not allowed to know everything about Christianity. Some things were kept secret until baptism because it was too sensitive of information for just anyone to know. She was publically using this as a statement that people were drawn to the early church because of the ways in which the early Christians acted to each other and the world. Now, I see it was also a secret message to those ‘initiated’ (aka ‘confirmed’) in the Episcopal Church, prospective members of The Episcopal Church might be allowed at the Lord’s Table, but they are not allowed to know everything about the Church. The Lady’s Sport Coat is most definitely esoteric information.

And Now I’m in the Know. What’s the logical next step?

Posting my sneak ninja’d photographs for you?