Okay. So, I’m looking for a situation change: namely job & location. I have some leads on all accounts. I am so hopeful about this. I would really like it to work out. So all prayers are welcome, as nothing is sure yet.

working out the details.

So, I went out to check the mail today. I got to the mailbox and saw the one lone business envelope. Bill, I thought to myself. When I pulled it out I was shocked to see the logo of the nursing school I applied to ages ago.

I sent in the application in late July or so, but they recommended having them in by early June or even May. I didn’t finish everything, like the second letter of recommendation or transcripts from my alma mater until early August. I wasn’t even sure why I was sending it in because I knew it was late and the school’s assosiations make it pretty prestigous. I figured it would be a quick turn around to my rejection letter. “Class is full, we don’t need you.” And when I saw the envelope, it was small. When you get in to college the first time ’round, little envelopes mean ‘rejected’ because all you need is a letter, big envelopes mean ‘accepted’ because they need to send all the financial aid and housing and EVERYTHING information.

So, I’m feeling down. I expect rejection. I see the small envelope and I think, “Damn! Took them long enough.” and then I look at it, and there appear to be boxes, a grid on a sheet. That’s weird right? A rejection letter with a grid?

So, I open it. I see my address & the greeting, but the first line is hidden in the fold of the paper.

OPEN!

I got in!

I GOT IN TO NURSING SCHOOL!

My start date class is full, so I’m waitlisted there, but if I dont’ get in to that class, I am guaranteed a spot in the next class (which won’t start until Jan 2011) Which sounds forever in the future. I am, however, making plans for what I can do between finishing my prereqs (which should be done in the spring) and that January.

I think I’m still going to apply to the other nursing school I’m looking at, but at least I GOT IN! (commence screaming) and, it was my first choice school.

Now, to work out the details of getting to class for the prereqs and moving to another city.

Victory is so close

Okay, so I previously mentioned the Soap/Shampoo/Conditioner saga. In a sentence summary: I vowed not to buy more of any of any one category until all in my house was used up. That vow was made mid-December 2007. In April 2009, a mere 16 months later, I declared victory over the shampoo. I finished the last of it, and bought new. Today, August 8, 2009 I declare victory over the conditioner. (That horse conditioner doesn’t count, and may be going into the trash soon)  Tomorrow, to try out the new conditioner I bought. The only one left is soap. I have at least another bar and a bottle left. Tremble soap, you’re going down!

cars suck, yo.

So, I have a car, its name is PANTS! (dumb story, which is the only endearing thing about the car) PANTS! has given me lots and lots of shit during the time that I’ve owned it, but in the past 18 months since I’ve been back in the states, it’s been real hell.  Towed thrice (in six months), to the mechanic (who happens to be my uncle, so glad I trust him!) five times. Most recently two simplish repairs. I got it back the week after the 4th, took it to Springfield and enrolled in my classes for the fall semster and got Zeke & I signed up for dog training at PetSmart in the next week. It worked like a charm. Then Sunday, I wanted to take it to church. I got about three miles from home when I realized that I wouldn’t be able to make it because the shifting & accellerating were just wrong.

Shit. I just got it back, and now another problem. So I decided, Fuck it. I am not fixing this car. I refuse.

So, I have my mother’s Geo, I call it the Little Blue Death Bucket (or LBDB for short). Between it & PANTS! I’ve maintained vehicular transportation. But the LBDB is getting old. And I’ve been warned that its lifespan is coming to an end, sometime, and that long distances & highway driving will bring that end faster.

My uncle, the mechanic, has been telling me for a while that I need to get a new car. (new, new to me, whatever — something more reliable) but I can think of a million things I’d rather buy than a car.

So, I’m prepping for a carless time. I’ve borrowed a friend’s bike that I’ve ridden a couple of times. I’m planning out routes to get me to work, away from cars. I’m thinking of people in my church that I can get rides from if that day comes.

I’m planning on riding to work, at least a few times a week to get used to it and to attempt to preserve car life.

I know I’m crazy. I know I should probably just buy a car. But I just don’t want to. It’s not about the environment. It is, in part, due to money. Car, registration, oil changes, gas, insurance, and other things I’m forgetting. It’s also the dependancy on other people, mainly mechanics. I want to be able to fix whatever might be wrong. I want my machinery to be simple enough for me to at least be able to see what is wrong. I want to depend on myself for my own movement.

At least in theory. I might change my mind when it’s no longer theoretical. Which hopefully will remain in the future.

electricians rock.

let there be light*
and there was light
and we saw that it was good
and it was evening
and it was morning
the first day.

*my kitchen is better lit than it has ever been.

outing + sighting

I slept in this morning and debated back and forth about going to Springfield to the mall. I know I don’t need anything, but man, I want to see what’s out. I want a new skirt!

So, I wait around, call a friend. Finally I decide that, hey, since I’m already dressed, I might as well go. I get there, I’m driving in the parking lot and I see a family. Father, pushing a stroller, a couple children walking near him and his wife. Who happens to be wearing a brown abaya/jilbab, lacy brown scarf and a half niqaab tied under the hijab.

It is good that I came today. I’m calling the day a Full House. I ended up seeing three niqaabis and two women in bonnets! They made me feel ridiculously ‘undercover’ in my white-with purple-pink-orange flowered kerchief. Which, by the way, was complimented by the sales lady at New York & Company. She was a very good sales lady. Creepily so.

Plus, I got three sweaters on sale and three tshirts to replace some I bought to take with me to Yemen. Yeah, they were getting holes in them. Unfortunately, I have to go back tomorrow because one of the sweaters I bought didn’t get that security tag removed. What will tomorrow bring?

yet another work story.

A few months ago, I was really grumpy at work. My coworkers kept making ridiculously dumb mistakes that should have never been made, if they had just been paying attention. So, in I come and man! I just can’t shut up. I bitched the entire shift about their incompetency. Why can’t they do anything right?

At the same time, I’m thinking to myself, “dana, you know you make mistakes. Shut up, shut up shut up!” But I don’t heed my own advice. Of course not. By the end of the shift I’m exhausted from trying to make sense of their mistakes, but mostly from my own bitching.

Of course, that’s the night that the girl coming in after me calls and says she’s going to be late. At right around the time that we would be done handing things over I make a mistake. One that is not particularly harmful, but very evident. Of course.

I’m not one to believe god is directly talking to me. But this time, this time I am very sure that this was god’s way of reminding me of my own fallibility. A good swift kick in the butt.

Fast forward to this evening. I caught a major error. I was reminded of that previous incident and was naturally inclined (plus i tried hard as well) to be more forgiving of every person’s natural ability to make mistakes. Now, I guess I should just be thankful that I was able to catch it!

I’m also ridiculously thankful that I can learn. It is not always God rehashing the same damn mistake to me over and over again. (we’re still working on the thankfulness thing. please don’t take away anything else!)

learning to love life by
living through loss and mistakes,
lessons learned and gradually surfacing,
letting go,
striping naked to scream.
i am not perfect
nor do i strive to be.
i am alive in this world
of face first falls and public breakdowns.
i am retarded disfigured clown
dying to be heard for the simple art
of letting this heavy wall finally fall.
i am an equal being of no race or colour,
a hallucination if you will
sneaking into the lives of strangers
and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm
just to feel better.
~ Blue October, Retarded Disfigured Clown

trisagion

Holy God
Holy Mighty
Holy Immortal
Have mercy upon us

(insert a holy wail here)

things i regret

but only a couple that i’m currently thinking about…

* not learning how to pray like the muslims in either morocco or yemen.

* telling the Missionaries of Charity the truth about my non-Catholicism. (i would have gone to mass much more frequently at the convent if i could have received communion)

victory is almost mine…

So, I thought I would post something completely different and somewhat celebratory.

When I came home from the Yemen in December 2007 one of the first things I did was buy shampoo, conditioner and a bottle of liquid soap. Sounds pretty responsible, right? I knew I would be living alone in my Mom’s house and thought that I should have some of the essentials. I get home, pleased with my selection. I use some of it, when all of a sudden I realized just how much stuff my mom has left in the house, including bath things.

I then resolved not to buy any more shampoo, conditioner or body soap until all of it in the cupboard was used up. I figured that there was a lot of it in there; it would probably last oh, six months or so. I also figured I would be saving myself some money and shopping time by not buying anything new in that area until June-ish.

Then, all of a sudden it was June. And it looked like I hadn’t even put a dent in it. Sure, I had moved through some bars of soap and finished a few bottles of shampoo and conditioner, but I had seriously underestimated the amount of buildup that living in the same house for 20 years can bring.  “A few more months,” I said to myself and plugged along, using a bit more as my hair grew longer.

And then it was December 2008. A whole year had passed. I was still working on all of the stuff in the cabinet. I kept the bottles I had bought a year ago on the tub to use intermittently when I wanted to have a cohesive “smell” or whatever. The cabinet was beginning to clear a bit. But there was still SO MUCH!

And now it’s April, and I can finally see the light at the end of the Shampoo Tunnel. I’m down to an almost empty bottle of baby shampoo and some odds and ends of travel shampoos plus the original one I bought over a year ago. I think Shampoo shopping is probably less than a month away. Victory is almost mine!

Conditioner and soap is a completely different story. I wouldn’t be surprised if they kept going until June or longer. We will see. Only time will tell.