yet another work story.

A few months ago, I was really grumpy at work. My coworkers kept making ridiculously dumb mistakes that should have never been made, if they had just been paying attention. So, in I come and man! I just can’t shut up. I bitched the entire shift about their incompetency. Why can’t they do anything right?

At the same time, I’m thinking to myself, “dana, you know you make mistakes. Shut up, shut up shut up!” But I don’t heed my own advice. Of course not. By the end of the shift I’m exhausted from trying to make sense of their mistakes, but mostly from my own bitching.

Of course, that’s the night that the girl coming in after me calls and says she’s going to be late. At right around the time that we would be done handing things over I make a mistake. One that is not particularly harmful, but very evident. Of course.

I’m not one to believe god is directly talking to me. But this time, this time I am very sure that this was god’s way of reminding me of my own fallibility. A good swift kick in the butt.

Fast forward to this evening. I caught a major error. I was reminded of that previous incident and was naturally inclined (plus i tried hard as well) to be more forgiving of every person’s natural ability to make mistakes. Now, I guess I should just be thankful that I was able to catch it!

I’m also ridiculously thankful that I can learn. It is not always God rehashing the same damn mistake to me over and over again. (we’re still working on the thankfulness thing. please don’t take away anything else!)

learning to love life by
living through loss and mistakes,
lessons learned and gradually surfacing,
letting go,
striping naked to scream.
i am not perfect
nor do i strive to be.
i am alive in this world
of face first falls and public breakdowns.
i am retarded disfigured clown
dying to be heard for the simple art
of letting this heavy wall finally fall.
i am an equal being of no race or colour,
a hallucination if you will
sneaking into the lives of strangers
and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm
just to feel better.
~ Blue October, Retarded Disfigured Clown


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