Posts Tagged ‘church’

everything is fine, nothing is ruined.

24 March 2011

So, it’s been a while since I posted anything. I am in a much better place now than I was before spring break. It seems I might have some hope after all. Classes are tough still and I procrastinate way too much, but I’m keeping my grades good enough.

Churches, temples and the one mosque have been… varied to say the least. From welcoming and liturgically nice to liturgically horrible and downright uncomfortable and a mix in between as well. A few places have ended up on my “Never again!” list while I’ve been to some more than once or twice as well. I know a few people were routing for a church hopping blog, I really don’t see that happening for a number of reasons. One being I’m not sure I have the time and energy, another reason is that many of my thoughts on these things are rather private and so highly subjective to my own rather unfair criticisms that I don’t think it would do much good. Finally, it’s just rude to randomly show up somewhere and then write possibly mean things about them on the internet. Even if I think their behavior towards me was less than ideal.

Though I might try some details/names/dates changed HIPAA-esque modified stories if something comes up that is too good to pass on. Though I must say, I’m not all that good at changing things. I like my stories true.

Oh, as a side note, I was asked if I was Muslim today.

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whoa.

11 February 2011

Let me give you a rundown of some shit I’ve done this week.
There will be some gratuitous caps lock.

Last Friday: HAIRS CUT OFF
all weekend through tuesday: Palpitations, weird dreams, headaches and thoughts of stroke/heart attack
Tuesday: med math test: PASSED (which, incidentally means 100% heck YES)
Wednesday: FIRST NURSING TEST EVAR! Health Assessment test, just checked grade, and I totally A-ed it!
Thursday: FIRST LAB CHECK-OFFS! PASSED (phlebotomy, IV & catheters.)

Things to do this weekend:
STUDY. OMG TESTS next week. Pharmacology is on Tuesday followed by Intro to Nursing on Wednesday. I’m pretty sure there are some more math tests in there. The Patho test is the following Monday.

I know I have a lot of studying to do, but I hope to get a few services in as well. I’m enjoying my time at one of the reform temples around here and I’m hoping to go to an african-american pentecostal church Sunday morning. I had hoped to go to the Episcopal church last Wednesday and I totally had time, but when I got home I forgot all about it and didn’t remember until an hour after it was over. Oops. Maybe next week. It would be nice way to relax after the test that afternoon.

temple thoughts

22 January 2011

So, I got a phone call today from the hospital I worked at before I started nursing school. The hospital I officially turned in my badge in about three weeks ago because I don’t work there anymore. “dana, i was wondering if you would be able to come in to work any part of tonight.” uh… no.

And then I went to the reform temple that’s around the corner from me. They were doing a Tu B’Shavat Seder and there were some awkward moments before I went in to the hall, but it ended up being okay. Not necessarily the style I really prefer but okay. Okay that’s not true, I wasn’t a big fan. I didn’t care for their musical settings because I prefer not having instruments. It was a little too happy-clappy guitar-hippy for me.

This is all an aside from my main point. We’re sitting at tables, and this guy next to me is middle aged and kinda creeping me out. Making bad puns with date-the-fruit, you know? Anyway, about three-quarters the way through this service, he turns to me and asks
“Are you from?”
My gut reaction is “Am I from where?
And he clarified “Are you frum?
I said “No.” and held back the “I’m not even Jewish!”

I wonder about places that claim to be “open to everyone” or “open to people of all levels of observance” I don’t think it’s practical or possible, really. If you’re super-traditional religiously speaking, you’re going to want people to be moving towards your way of thought. And if you are super-liberal people in that conservative/traditional path are not going to be comfortable at your service. That’s not wrong or bad, I don’t think. I just is…

This totally doesn’t make any sense.

16 November 2010

So, it’s not like I intentionally try to misrepresent myself, but I think often my actions don’t translate well into “normal people speak.” I linger too long in churches. Hell, the fact that I am a 27 year old female with no children and go to church at all is enough to put me in the “weird” category, add in this reluctance to move from my pew or space in the church for much too long after the service probably puts me into “creepy weird” and for those churches and congregations where I really would like to attempt to semi-integrate myself, I try to hang out afterward and I just don’t have the communication skills to bring me out of “that creepy weird quiet girl who hangs out here.”

Two congregations I think of in particular. Both of which I kinda love. Neither of which I have any background in previously. Both of which have accepted me as they can. I also get the distinct feeling that the members of both expect that, by my continued presence, I want to become a member. People from both congregations have asked me if I am attending or plan to attend the classes for introductory preparation to “convert” if you will. I am not. At the time I said that I couldn’t commit to going every week because of my work schedule. Which is true. More true is that I’m not sure I would go even if my schedule allowed. Because I honestly have no desire to commit to any one denomination, or apparently even religion.

I have a question though. Am I being dishonest to these congregations by showing up? I never represented myself as anyone other than a wanderer. I don’t think I have it in me to say to any of the congregants, “Sorry, I really have no intention of converting at this point.” Though I’ve also never said “I’m a catechumen/undergoing conversion.” I just really like the way they pray.

My disdain for the term “convert” can be continued at another time.

alleluia, alleluia, alleluia. glory to thee, o god.

10 November 2010

Would you
Could you
True my wheel?

srsly. CLICKITY.
frustrating.

like the rest of my life.

Dear coworkers,
Please stop being backbiting bitches.
❤ dana.

Dear dana,
Please heed your own advice to fellow workers.
❤ dana.

hypocrite.

In other news, I've mentioned my love for the Orthodox, yeah? Well, I can't quite put my finger on why I love them, but I do. However, I feel really out of place when talking to people converting (oh, how I hate that term) and they are joining because they believe the Orthodox have the Truth. I've never really gotten along with Truth.

I was talking to the priest at the local church and he was asking me about why I liked it there, and I said something about liking the liturgy. Maybe because it's old. In retrospect, that's not it at all. I love it because it's BEAUTIFUL. And maybe part of the reason I think it is BEAUTIFUL is because it is ancient, but it's more than the antiquity of it.

I don't know what to think about capital T- Truth, but Beauty. I know that when I see it. And I really feel that in Beauty there must be some Truth.

There are a couple of other things I'd like to talk about when it comes to Beauty, but I'm tired. And I doubt this makes any sense. So we'll save the nonsense talk for later.

thoughts before sleep+drive

28 October 2010

So, when I think about the possibility of eventually joining the Orthodox church, I don’t counter it immediately with “HELL NO + RUN AWAY”. This is serious progress when it comes to me + church.

why is everybody always chasing we?

7 October 2010

Dear Matisyahu,
I love you. I’m sorry I listened to those naysayers commenting on “Youth” It’s fantastic.
❤ dana.

Jerusalem, if I forget you, let my right hand forget what it’s supposed to do.

So, on a completely different note: I started this book by Stephen Prothero, Religious Literacy and it has me thinking about my own religious literacy. I have a good general knowledge of world religions, and I remember stuff from when I was a kid about Bible stories. But some people, man! They really know their Bible! I have a good overview of it, but I can’t quote anything at length. (I can make up faux psalms though).

Anyway, I know when Isaac said he read most of the Bible, I think he finished it up with “and I’ll never do that again” but, I think once again, I am resolved to read … some more of it. at least. We’ll see.

exhibiting 3 signs

11 September 2010

sure signs i’m depressed:

1) Blue October on repeat
2) Skipping out on church
3) Ignoring friends.

shabbat.

21 August 2010

So, I went to Temple today. Or Friday night, which might be today. Whatever. It was different. And yet, at the same time very familiar.

Reading psalms. Words that are very familiar to me, putting them in a new light. An alter. Carrying the Torah around the room. People kissing it, or touching their seder to it and kissing that. Kissing things, it’s becoming familiar.

Chanting. At times very bad Hebrew chanting. Bad chanting is something I’m familiar with, and in certain ways truly love, along with its sister, bad singing. But there were parts where the congregation was more familiar and raised its voice together. Very lovely.

I think I’m going to add it to my list of places I go regularly, as my work schedule allows. I wonder what this makes me.

i don’t think it works like that.

26 May 2010

So, It has recently come to my attention that maybe the (Catholic) daily mass service I have gone to for the past couple of months I’ve been here is not a … ‘good fit’ for me. And after service on Tuesday, all I have to say is, well inappropriate for this blog. And I give myself a lot of leeway when it comes to saying inappropriate things here. So I’m moving on. And looking forward.

I hope I can use the time I would have spent at daily mass doing a more personal Morning Prayer. It is much easier to sit back and let other people read aloud to me. It is much more challenging to sit down with the scriptures and read them myself. It’s also incredibly uncomfortable because most of the time I feel it just doesn’t make much sense.

*sigh* I wish I understood church people.
I take it back.
I’m glad I don’t understand church people.