Posts Tagged ‘jew’

Modeh Ani

1 April 2012

So, I borrowed a siddur from the shul I’ve been attending to look over it more in-depth. Starting from the very beginning I found this “[…]  should wake up […] with a lionlike resolve to serve his creator.” 

RAWR!  gotta love that ArtScroll commentary.

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This totally doesn’t make any sense.

16 November 2010

So, it’s not like I intentionally try to misrepresent myself, but I think often my actions don’t translate well into “normal people speak.” I linger too long in churches. Hell, the fact that I am a 27 year old female with no children and go to church at all is enough to put me in the “weird” category, add in this reluctance to move from my pew or space in the church for much too long after the service probably puts me into “creepy weird” and for those churches and congregations where I really would like to attempt to semi-integrate myself, I try to hang out afterward and I just don’t have the communication skills to bring me out of “that creepy weird quiet girl who hangs out here.”

Two congregations I think of in particular. Both of which I kinda love. Neither of which I have any background in previously. Both of which have accepted me as they can. I also get the distinct feeling that the members of both expect that, by my continued presence, I want to become a member. People from both congregations have asked me if I am attending or plan to attend the classes for introductory preparation to “convert” if you will. I am not. At the time I said that I couldn’t commit to going every week because of my work schedule. Which is true. More true is that I’m not sure I would go even if my schedule allowed. Because I honestly have no desire to commit to any one denomination, or apparently even religion.

I have a question though. Am I being dishonest to these congregations by showing up? I never represented myself as anyone other than a wanderer. I don’t think I have it in me to say to any of the congregants, “Sorry, I really have no intention of converting at this point.” Though I’ve also never said “I’m a catechumen/undergoing conversion.” I just really like the way they pray.

My disdain for the term “convert” can be continued at another time.