sightings today:
hijabi waiting at the metro station
hijabi outside a restaurant in the loop
two latter day saint missionaries next to me at an intersection
hijabi in a minivan texting at a red light.
according to a friend, it’s raining hijabis. and according to me, that’s even better than it raining men. is it wrong to be a little disappointed the missionaries didn’t try to convert me? though i had my headphones in and didn’t look at them but to check the name badge on their pockets…
Let me give you a rundown of some shit I’ve done this week.
There will be some gratuitous caps lock.
Last Friday: HAIRS CUT OFF
all weekend through tuesday: Palpitations, weird dreams, headaches and thoughts of stroke/heart attack
Tuesday: med math test: PASSED (which, incidentally means 100% heck YES)
Wednesday: FIRST NURSING TEST EVAR! Health Assessment test, just checked grade, and I totally A-ed it!
Thursday: FIRST LAB CHECK-OFFS! PASSED (phlebotomy, IV & catheters.)
Things to do this weekend:
STUDY. OMG TESTS next week. Pharmacology is on Tuesday followed by Intro to Nursing on Wednesday. I’m pretty sure there are some more math tests in there. The Patho test is the following Monday.
I know I have a lot of studying to do, but I hope to get a few services in as well. I’m enjoying my time at one of the reform temples around here and I’m hoping to go to an african-american pentecostal church Sunday morning. I had hoped to go to the Episcopal church last Wednesday and I totally had time, but when I got home I forgot all about it and didn’t remember until an hour after it was over. Oops. Maybe next week. It would be nice way to relax after the test that afternoon.
So, I got a phone call today from the hospital I worked at before I started nursing school. The hospital I officially turned in my badge in about three weeks ago because I don’t work there anymore. “dana, i was wondering if you would be able to come in to work any part of tonight.” uh… no.
And then I went to the reform temple that’s around the corner from me. They were doing a Tu B’Shavat Seder and there were some awkward moments before I went in to the hall, but it ended up being okay. Not necessarily the style I really prefer but okay. Okay that’s not true, I wasn’t a big fan. I didn’t care for their musical settings because I prefer not having instruments. It was a little too happy-clappy guitar-hippy for me.
This is all an aside from my main point. We’re sitting at tables, and this guy next to me is middle aged and kinda creeping me out. Making bad puns with date-the-fruit, you know? Anyway, about three-quarters the way through this service, he turns to me and asks
“Are you from?”
My gut reaction is “Am I from where?
And he clarified “Are you frum?
I said “No.” and held back the “I’m not even Jewish!”
I wonder about places that claim to be “open to everyone” or “open to people of all levels of observance” I don’t think it’s practical or possible, really. If you’re super-traditional religiously speaking, you’re going to want people to be moving towards your way of thought. And if you are super-liberal people in that conservative/traditional path are not going to be comfortable at your service. That’s not wrong or bad, I don’t think. I just is…
You know those days when you hate yourself? It’s like you dwell on every little thing you said and did in the past decade and how it was all terrible? Yeah. Welcome to my day — well night but now going into the day. Now I can’t sleep. Go figure.
I should probably read some Psalms. But that’ll probably screw me all up too. Dear Jesus: SAY WHA? srsly.
I know, I know, that one of you who’s all “dana, is this really jesus’ fault?” i say, “well probably not but i’m still pissed about the whole Betty thing, which really was his fault. and totally not related to this at all.
While I’m taking out my illogically-related-to-the-trinity things out, Dear Holy Spirit: Please be a little more OBVIOUS about things you say to your people. Cause a lot of people say you told them shit, and it’s kinda hard to reconcile. All I’m sayin’ is a little *raises hand* “you know, I really DIDN’T speak to that crazy televangelist” I’d be like more cool with you as a general idea. So, when you get on that, give me a heads up with everyone else.
Cause you know I tend to be the last to know shit. Also, to the Father part: can we work on people skillz? Mine in particular, but your whole “christian” people could use a little of that action.
One final thing for the whole Trinity: Thanks for this semester almost being over. And thanks for making it look like this whole “nursing school” thing might just work out. I’m beginning to believe it’s really going to happen. I’ll totally believe it when I move. Though I won’t ever trust it’s real until I have that BSN in hand.
Would you
Could you
True my wheel?
srsly. CLICKITY.
frustrating.
like the rest of my life.
Dear coworkers,
Please stop being backbiting bitches.
❤ dana.
Dear dana,
Please heed your own advice to fellow workers.
❤ dana.
hypocrite.
In other news, I've mentioned my love for the Orthodox, yeah? Well, I can't quite put my finger on why I love them, but I do. However, I feel really out of place when talking to people converting (oh, how I hate that term) and they are joining because they believe the Orthodox have the Truth. I've never really gotten along with Truth.
I was talking to the priest at the local church and he was asking me about why I liked it there, and I said something about liking the liturgy. Maybe because it's old. In retrospect, that's not it at all. I love it because it's BEAUTIFUL. And maybe part of the reason I think it is BEAUTIFUL is because it is ancient, but it's more than the antiquity of it.
I don't know what to think about capital T- Truth, but Beauty. I know that when I see it. And I really feel that in Beauty there must be some Truth.
There are a couple of other things I'd like to talk about when it comes to Beauty, but I'm tired. And I doubt this makes any sense. So we'll save the nonsense talk for later.
So, when I think about the possibility of eventually joining the Orthodox church, I don’t counter it immediately with “HELL NO + RUN AWAY”. This is serious progress when it comes to me + church.
Sometimes, after a really ridiculously stressful night, ending with my coworkers being awesome people, all I really want is that bike ride home. And then I realize I was running late last night and drove PANTS! instead of riding the bike (which still needs a name, thinking zaharah right now) DOWNER. So I drove home, showered and rode the bike to class.
Which was lovely. Not the class. I’d like nothing more than to stab the professor with plastic forks because he drives me batty. BUT the ride home was FANTASTIC. I sang “I wear my sunglasses at night” and then made up a song about CHF and COPD and how they suck and may end up requiring fluid restrictions and diuretic medications.
And now I need to go to sleep because I want to go to a couple of churches tonight.
So, I bike right? I mean, I have a car for really ridiculous weather, but I bike to work frequently.
One of my pet peeves when it comes to cars and bikes is when a car passes me in an intersection. I HATE IT. As a biker, I feel really vulnerable at intersections because if I’ve come to a complete stop, I’m going slower anyway. I’m more unsteady as well. Plus, I have the possibility of traffic from three directions. When you pass in the intersection, it’s all like an attack. It just seems silly to me anyway, because the intersection isn’t that big! I mean, they always have to end!
So, I was riding home from class today (in the rain!) and this SUV passes me in an intersection. Grrr. BUT! It made my day when I pulled up right behind it at the next intersection because he had to wait on the red. HAHA! I win.
SRSLY. It’s like my favorite thing ever when cars pass me irresponsibly and then I catch up to them at the next light. Because not only have I caught them, meaning they didn’t actually save ANY time, they are often the trigger for the light to change.
It’s like “I WIN” squared. 🙂
So, I went to Temple today. Or Friday night, which might be today. Whatever. It was different. And yet, at the same time very familiar.
Reading psalms. Words that are very familiar to me, putting them in a new light. An alter. Carrying the Torah around the room. People kissing it, or touching their seder to it and kissing that. Kissing things, it’s becoming familiar.
Chanting. At times very bad Hebrew chanting. Bad chanting is something I’m familiar with, and in certain ways truly love, along with its sister, bad singing. But there were parts where the congregation was more familiar and raised its voice together. Very lovely.
I think I’m going to add it to my list of places I go regularly, as my work schedule allows. I wonder what this makes me.
Okay. So. I’m back! I think.
I recently moved and I decided to take this time to do whatever I wanted when it comes to church. There are a LOT of churches around here. And ever since I got back from Morocco I’ve had this extreme interested in them. Mostly a vague, “I wonder what they do behind those doors” kind of thing. And I’m finding out. I think this will end up being general observations rather than the more detailed rundown I write about in real life. But I would like to stop, and make a series of ‘helpful’ posts for churches out there who have random girls dressed like hippies that show up occasionally. OKAY, it’s probably more helpful to me as a rant than for them.
I posted a facebook status the other day, and this post is my response to that.
Let’s start with questions. I’m new. I get that. There are probably things you want to know about me. Heck, I probably want to know some things about you too. This is not the way to start that conversation with me, because I will KILL IT. (and how)
Do I know you?
-> This one bugs me because the town I’m in is not small. I don’t know if you know me. Maybe we ran into each other somewhere. I think the question you really want to know is “Have you been here before?” or maybe even “Do you come regularly?” Which is a PERFECTLY REASONABLE question for most of the churches I’ve been to. Because often these are not small churches. When you increase your services to more than one on a Sunday morning, it gets confusing. I totally understand. All I’m saying is, ask the question you want answered. Otherwise this hippie girl is gonna be all awkward and “uh… i dunno?” When I could be all awkward and “No, I’ve never been here before” or “I’ve been here a couple of times” or “I come for random weekday services but not a Sunday service before.”
Can I just take this time to say: Dear Church People: intro-fucking-duce yourselves. Even if I’ve been to your church before RE-intro-fucking-duce yourself, it’s very very likely I’ve forgotten your name. I’m not good with names. Besides, do you have any fucking clue how many churches I’ve been to in the past two months? Yeah, me either. But it’s double digits.
Which leads me to question #2
“What’s your name?” or “Who are you?” NO PEOPLE. Okay, take that back, it’s not entirely inappropriate, but the BETTER way to do this: *stick hand out/offer handshake* “Hi. My name is (N)! *PAUSE*” Check that shit out. It allows me to get your name, AND Offer mine. Which I will do. Okay, sometimes it takes the prompt of asking for my name. But that’s because you stick more conversation where that PAUSE should be. Put that info before the name intro or after the pause. NEVER EVER Ask for a name without FIRST OFFERING YOURS. Dear TEC: THIS MEANS YOU.
Where do you live?
-> This one bothers me because I see it less of a “and where is your abode?” and more of a “so can we expect you to come back here?” well, I won’t be coming back with that attitude! Also, I’ve taken to just saying Springfield. Because a) that’s all you really need to know at this point and b) if I give a street name, people go “Oh, that’s so far away!” and I’m all “What the fuck are you talking about, it’s 15 minutes away. I’m used to driving much more than that.” I can be very loyal and pretty damn involved, if you give me the chance.
What’s your last name?/Who is your family?
->WTF? No. I really don’t get this one. Okay, a little back story, I sat next to a lady. She went into a story about how she worked downtown but lived in Marionville, and I was all “I grew up there” and then she proceeded with this question. Dude, church people: boundaries.
How did you hear about us?
-> Okay, all I hear in this one is ‘advertising’ and that doesn’t translate well with “I drove by the building then googled you or I googled you and then drove by the building.
Do you have cancer? *
-> again, srsly wtf? (this one might be isolated to me) I might need a better headcovering.
*ACTUAL QUESTION posed to me at a church.
I’m going to stop for now, though I’m sure I’ll update it later. I have other things to say about churches as well, esp. regarding welcoming teams and touching. But for now, I think some things for church people to keep in mind when talking to new people are ask the question you actually want an answer to and remember that we have boundaries and might not be willing to spill our entire life story to you the first time we show up. BOUNDARIES.
Holy Jesus Snack Cup 